Saturday, October 07, 2006
It's not what you say but how you say it. It's true. We have a lot to learn about communication. One of the verses most needed is Eph 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
People are really funny in what they hear. This is illustrated in expressions like "your actions are speaking so loudly I can't hear a word you are saying". We need to learn to communicate truthfully, but with love. And loving with truth.
This works both ways. To hear, we have to be open. To be heard, we have to communicate with the heart.
Edwin Friedman says it well. "The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choices words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech."
People are really funny in what they hear. This is illustrated in expressions like "your actions are speaking so loudly I can't hear a word you are saying". We need to learn to communicate truthfully, but with love. And loving with truth.
This works both ways. To hear, we have to be open. To be heard, we have to communicate with the heart.
Edwin Friedman says it well. "The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choices words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech."
I want to practice loving truth and truthful love.
